Friday, June 21, 2013

Make a conscious effort to do less of complaining

Make a conscious effort to do less of complaining

Many of us want to either impress others with our busyness or difficult life, or we are seeking sympathy. Rarely will you hear either spouse say to each other after a long day at work,” I had a terrific day. Lots of things went right.” The fear is that to do so (even if it were true) might be seen as a weakness – as if your life were too easy.

I know for a fact that some men complain to their wives about how difficult their workday is, in part, because they don’t want to be expected to do too much once they get home!

In addition, most of us want to be appreciated and respected for how hard we work. By sharing all that went right during the day, the fear is that we might lose some of that appreciation or respect, and be taken for granted.

But more than all of that, focusing on the negative is just a bad habit – plain and simple. Complaining is contagious, and everyone seems to do it. So, unless you make a conscious effort to do less of it, you’re probably going to continue for as long as you are working.

If you began focusing more on the best parts of your day, you will become increasingly aware that there are all sorts of interesting and enjoyable aspects to your day that were virtually invisible to you prior to this shift in focus. You no longer take for granted those stimulating conversations, interesting challenges, personal contact with friends and others. Perhaps most of all, you find that your appreciation has been heightened. Because of this, you find yourself less bothered and annoyed by the hassles that you must deal with on a daily basis.

Monday, June 3, 2013

The Cockroach Theory for self-development: Response Vs Reaction

The Cockroach Theory for self-development: Response Vs Reaction

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach - Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. 

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. 

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant. 

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, 

Was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. 

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. 

I realized that, it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or any other that disturbs me, 
but its my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. 
Its not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, its my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life. 

Lessons learnt from the story : 

I understood, I should not react in life, I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of, just and right to save a situation from going out of hands, to avoid cracks in relationship, to avoid taking decisions in anger, anxiety, stress or hurry. 

* How practical would the relevance of this be in a corporate setting? 
* How often do we react rather than respond to a problem at work? 
* Would you prefer to react before responding or respond before reacting? 

Think about it.